The term "empathy" gets brought up often in the context of leadership as a strength or a weakness. What most folks don't understand is that like all other leadership skills - empathy is a skill to learn & grow.
A lot of people confuse empathy as a tool, something to be used (or avoided) in specific situations. Instead, empathy is a mindset & a set of behaviors that allows you to adapt better to all situations. When you want to have a tough conversation, empathy is not a detriment - being able to show empathy while having tough conversations is a superpower (I call this being "nice but firm").
Why?
- The most obvious one first, it makes you a better human
- It fosters longer term relationships, setting up future opportunities
- Tough conversations are more achievable while also minimizing negative impact
- Leveraging empathetic skills enables you to work effectively with teams from different cultures around the world
- Lacking empathy in your role WILL impact your career later, typically by "earning a reputation" or getting typecasted into niche roles
How?
- Reframe empathy for yourself as a skill, and adopt a growth mindset around it
- Build a relationship with all your peers & partners, set a couple of hours aside each week to get to know them in turn
- Practice active listening daily, it takes time to commit this to muscle memory
- Get regular feedback from people you work with, specifically check on if there are any moments where you surprise, shock, or create fear in others
- Drive alignment in group discussions instead of making decisions for others
- In tough conversations, ensure you are on the other person's side, your goal is not just to have the conversation but to also get them to a safe place
Empathy takes time to learn, but it can be a powerful long term skill. It's not just helpful for your career, it makes you a better leader, and most importantly - it makes you a better person for everyone around you.